Thursday, March 9, 2017

even though...

... most of the time I am willing to confess to foolish behavior, this is difficult to admit. I will often tell tales on myself that I would have been far too sensitive and embarrassed to tell in the past. After a time of pondering, I will usually decide the stories are closer to the 'funny' end of the scale, rather than 'mortifying'.  Share things I would have otherwise never revealed had they happened years ago. Now I find myself doing the opposite of what I tried to impress upon daughters: keep it to yourself. "Don't think you have to tell everything you know." (Some times I believe they learned that lesson too well!)

But here I am: confessing. I have had to get replacement cards issued twice in the past several months. The only bright spot in all this is it forced me to use a debit card, which I have had for years, and been afraid of. Never used to make purchases. Thinking it would bite me? Fearful of spending getting out of hand if I failed to make notes in my check register of each use. So uncomfortable with the debit idea that it only coming out of my wallet to access instant money at the ATM.

It did  not take me long at all. Even with limited experience, I consider myself quite adept in the swiping. It never would have happened if I did not have a pin number that anyone in my immediate family would easily recognize - other wise I would never have been successful, as I do not store numbers in my head. All those years of credit cards before the embedded chips has been helpful as well.

Murphy's Law is still in effect. Meaning that as soon as I force myself to admit to being absent minded, call to cancel the card, it usually shows up. Tucked in a pocket I do not think to check before making the call. But seem to find within  hours of cancellation, when it is no longer of any use.

The minute you call the toll free number, the card is disabled, meaning that should you find it immediately after you end the call, you still have to wait seven to ten business days for a replacement. I've found it every time: right where I left it, of course. And since it is worthless, cut it up, and put the dismembered parts in various trash cans around the house. While anxiously awaiting the replacement and industriously practicing my debit card swiping skills.

The last incident was, I guess, a slight improvement over the two fatalities in the past couple of months. I got a call from my workplace not long after getting home yesterday. A customer service rep. reporting they would hold my card until I could return to pick it up. As you might expect, I had not even missed it. But when I went back to retrieve it, with my head hanging low I claimed to be a hopeless mess. I said that I was thinking of punching a hole in the card and wearing it on a string around my neck, to keep it from getting mislaid, or mis-pocketed. They just laughed.

I hope I can be more aware, deliberate about in the future. Instead of thinking about what's next, focus on right this minute. You know we cannot live in the past or the future: so my plan is to be more conscious of Now. Hard to do, but think about what I am doing at the moment, rather than what I need to get done, or accomplish hours from now.

I would not be surprised if the card company decided to put me out to pasture. Saying I had surpassed the limit for the number of new numbers they would issue in a lifetime. I desperately hope that being super diligent about paying the balance in full every month gives me some measure of forgiveness. Enough to they do not write me off completely?

I do feel better for having confessed. Light a votive and say ten Hail Marys as penance.

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