Sunday, June 9, 2013

most recent update on millipede invasion

I feel like I might have been mysteriously transported to Area 54 (or was that 57?), anyway, it's pretty dang  mysterious... I've talked to several people who garden, are somewhat knowledgeable about things that can be problematic when they get in flowering plants or vegetables. No one has ever experienced anything even remotely similar to this inexplicable population explosion. Especially Me! If they manners to keep themselves outside, I think I could mostly ingnore their re-population activities, but when they are coming in the house and doing their XXX rated business, that is taking things a bit too far. Take into consideration: they are Not Invited Guests.

It's been going on for a week, and does not seem to be improving. Today, when I went in the kitchen to make my morning cup of 'coffe-flavored milk', having completely forgotten about my early morning activities of recent days. But was immediately reminded about chores involving a broom and dustpan, as the floor was once again practically swarming with millipedes. And same story, second verse: as soon as I would sweep up, turn around, there would be more - impossibly fast for something that just creeps along, at a turtle pace (even though they have hundreds of legs! I guess for the little inch long stinker, it probably feels like lightening speed?)

This is not exaggeration - I am pretty sure I swept up at least a hundred, and every time I go back down the hall, there are several more little squiggles industriously moving across the tiles. So, rather than get the broom out for three, I get a sheet of paper, and bend over to invite them to their doom. After they walk themselves up on the paper, I take it to the bathroom, tap briskly on the edge of the seat, watch them fall in and tell the newest captives "practice your backstroke".

Guess what? They can't swim. You'd think that something with that many appendages would not have a problem getting from Key West to Cuba in record time, especially in flat water, with no turbulence.. But no! they do make an effort, but perhaps just not smart enough to figure they could get to shallow water, and out of the wetness. (Consider the size brain something the diameter of a piece of yard must have, and not more than an inch long?) They don't actually have a whole lot of time to practice the various strokes one learns in Beginning Swim Class, as it soon become so turbulent that they: disappear!

Fair warning: if you are planning a trip down to the Gulf Coast, along the Florida panhandle, be aware there will be a large group of millipedes sunning themselves on the beach, with fruity little drinks in hand/foot. The biggest family reunion in the history of Apalachicola Bay will be out in force, enjoying the deviled eggs, fried chicken and watermelon.

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