you might fall out of bed...

...laughing, if you are in bed when you read this, due to the fact that I am writing it at 10:30 at night - pretty much past my bed time. But I just got home from going to a movie and want to share. I will not tell you about the one I actually sat through. But when you hear what I paid for and did not see, it will be sort of amusing.

The back story: I took my kids to see the very first Jurassic Park movie when it came out about twenty years ago. Hard to believe we are all that old! It is likely that they had friends who had been, and with everyone else 'in the know' and talking about it, I am sure they convinced me they were pitifully deprived and tragically mistreated. So I waited until the movie came to the discount theater, you know: 'cheap seats', and we went to see the dinosaur flick for 99 cents.

As soon as those things with scales, reptilian eyes, and big sharp teeth came out of the jungle, we were all scootched down, hiding behind the seats in front of us, hoping to not be noticed or eaten. Peeping out to be sure we didn't miss any of the action, while fearful of being spotted and consumed. It was a fairly small theater and we were remarkably close to the screen. And, I think, the only people in the room - so definitely the bait when the big toothy things caught sight of quivering little us.

After maybe fifteen minutes of that sneaking and peeping business, I realized we were not people who needed to be in there, waiting to be lunch for hybridized fossils. So I said: Let's go, and gathered my little peeps up and out we went. I even stopped by the ticket booth and asked for a refund, saying something to the effect of that was not something we needed to be seeing. I am sure the ticket girl and concession stand people got a big laugh out of the sissies as they beat a safe retreat. But we did get home, and have yet to be eaten by reconstituted dinosaurs.

I thought I wanted to go see the new Jurassic Park movie. Got there late, missed all the trailers, and commercial advertising, and walked in as the kids were getting to the theme park. Even if you do not know anything about the story, you can surmise the plot revolves around the hungry, aggressive, sharp-clawed, remarkably fast creatures getting out of the well-designed reinforced enclosure that was certified impregnable. And wreaking havoc in the happy, bouncy, cheerful, fun-filled theme park, gobbling up the unsuspecting vacationing families.

So when we got to the part where the ground shakes because the ginormous dinosaur comes thumping and rattling through of the thick green forest, and showed his gleaming unblinking eye and sparkly sharp incisors, I said: "Ohmygoodness. I am in the wrong place." And got up to go across the hall and enjoy the Avengers. Yay! for Superheroes!

And ultimately, I thought: what in the world was I thinking, how could I have possibly felt I really wanted to see the gory mess of resurrected dinos pulling people limb from limb? Even if it is only SFX? Yuck.