don't mind me, I just ...

...need to vent. Have lots of bad words I need to get out of my system, and let off some steam. I am soooooooo frustrated with my work situation. I usually go to a friend's house in Wednesday nights meeting with a group of people from church to 'do life together', an occasional Bible study, often a video series, always something good to eat, prayer support, folks who care. A sort of replacement family for people to bond, have a sense of connection in a congregation that is so large you otherwise get lost in the masses.  I've not been to the community group lately, much to my dismay/detriment. Due to work schedule, and being on the job till 8:00 p.m. on Wednesdays.

My job situation has been so distressing, and I am so frustrated I don't know what to do, or if there are really any reasonable options. So I have been using way too many unprintable words lately.  Though it is probably not beneficial for my mental health, it feels like the pot is about to boil over. So sadly, I find myself resorting to considerable quantities of: #%&*, and @!$%, as well as gnashing my teeth, swearing, cursing, stomping, pointless raging, vociferous complaining, belligerence, occasional bouts of 'piss-and-moan'. Along with some :(

I started reading a book that a friend gave me this morning, in response to my saying I was in a really bad place in my work environment and needed my 'group' to pray for me. She said:' this is what you need to help you understand what is going on'. So I started reading, before going to work today, and believe I need to try to be content with my situation. I am so frustrated. And angry. And need to get over being both of those things. Make peace within myself.

I've told a daughter getting through rough places in her life more than once that 'life is too short to be miserable'. She recently quoted that back to me. I know it is true. And I do believe if there are things in your life that are untenable, making you feel so out-of-sorts and unhappy you can't see the joy, you need to reassess, and make some changes. But at this point the only thing I can see....is how I feel like they have stolen my joy. And I want it back.