Thursday, November 28, 2013

everybody has a funny story to tell...

I am pretty sure nearly everyone has an amusing tale of some turkey-related mishap. And most have gotten enough distance from their personal, horribly embarrassing, dramatically mortifying story to be willing to let others laugh at a sad, unfortunate, accident prone Traumatized Turkey. You have likely heard mine in the past. But since this is my legacy, the blog that lives on in perpetuity, I might as well tell it one more time to swirl around in the cosmos.

It was my first Thanksgiving as a married person (I suspect most of the stories start out this way?). I knew there were 'parts' that had been stowed away inside the body cavity. Even though this was before the era of all the naked, eviscerated birds having the cooking instructions printed on the wrapper. I'd seen enough parts simmering in a pot on the stove to know that you are supposed to remove the innards before you put the bird in the oven. So I removed  the outer wrapping, put the bird in the pan, and proceeded to peer down in that hole to get the extras out before baking. There was nothing in there. I looked in the other end: nothing. I even got out the flashlight to get a better view: nothing. No package of anything that looked extraneous. I greased her up, salted and peppered, and put her in to bake.Assuming that this was the one that slipped through on the production line and did not get the little surprise packet inserted back inside.

Needless to say, when we ate enough to get down to the point that we could actually see through into the cavity: there was that well toasted little paper sack with those missing body parts. All dried out and crispy. Ready for the trash.

The one I just put in the oven about an hour ago: I had to soak in the sink, and let the water run through a while to get those things out. I'd bought when I worked on Sunday, and put in the fridge to thaw. But when I got her out, and opened the package, there were still ice crystals, so she got a good soaking. Needless to say: I am Not putting my hand down in there, so I got the tongs to extricate the paper bag with the spare parts. That were frozen in place, which explains why she needed a bath after sitting in the fridge for three days. She's in the oven now.

Happy Thanksgiving to all the people who will be elsewhere, enjoying Turkey Day with family and friends.

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