Wednesday, November 11, 2015

looking at life...

... thinking about being a responsible adult. Talking to a friend, trying to hook up for lunch today. She has an adult son who was in a really bad auto accident some years ago, remarkable that he survived. She considers him a walking miracle. Though he continues to have some lingering effects, especially mentally with processing information. And occasionally struggles with communication issues.

I was telling her that one of the things none of us realize as we are now those mature capable adults we never really expected to become, is how frightening it can be when you wake up one day to find you are 'self-responsible'. I muddle through life doing the best I can, taking care of business at home or in the work place, feeling competent at all the varied tasks I complete in the course of each day. But rarely taking the time to consider how much I don't enjoy the actual fact of being the Responsible Adult. One of those things you do without conscious thought.

And you stop and wonder, then have to think: 'how did I get here?' When your brain still thinks you are half the age your body has become. And then your various joints, frame and organs begin to betray your preconceived notion of youth! What? I can't be falling apart! I'm not ready, and certainly not old enough to begin to show the effects of this many years...

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