I was working over Mother's Day weekend. A customer came along and was looking for some flowers to put in a vase to have the grandsons 'give' to their mom, who is, of course, her daughter. She just needed some advice, about what to get, and what would do well in the vase she was buying. So we talked about the best bouquet and she made her decision.
She said that this was her daughter's first Mother's Day as a single mom of two small boys. And that she had divorced a husband who was a drug user who could not quit. I said, 'can I give you a hug?' So we did, and I told her that I knew it was very hard for the whole family to get in a situation where there was someone who was so wrapped up in drugs, the substance took precedence over relationships.
I told her about a book I had recently read, that I thought she would find very interesting. Written by a man who spent years trying to save his son from drug addiction. Going through times of thinking he could stop the use, prevent the compulsion, get the son into rehab. and save him from himself. Then periods of thinking: I give up, knowing you cannot save someone else, then finding himself unwilling/unable to stand by and know that his beloved son was killing himself through substance abuse.
I don't remember what lead me to the book, but it was almost like a train wreck: you don't want to look, but you cannot make yourself turn away. It was heartrending to read, and think of the misery that young man put his family through. (At the end, he was both clean and mentoring others in recovery.)
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