when that guy...

... alternately known as The Man Who Lives Here was talking to me recently, I deliberately did not respond in the conversation. I don't recall what the subject was, or what we were discussing, but it seemed to me like he was just doing the thing females so often will do. We don't really want any one to snatch that issue up as we place it on the table, just need to vent or share about some personal conundrum. You just need to talk it out. Not really needing advice, or for someone to grapple with the problem, wrest it away from the owner and manhandle enough to change an outcome. Just open it up, so it does not fester like an infected wound.

He likely thought I was not listening, or giving him my full attention. But in reality, I decided I should practice the fine and difficult art of keeping my mouth shut. It is profoundly apparent to me after our many years together that he does not want advice. Perhaps he is mellowing as he ages and becoming that person who feels the need to put it out there, knowing there is more room outside than in? Or he is attempting to generate small talk, make conversation in this place of hours-long gaps in interaction?

It is so hard to shut my trap. I do have lots of opinions and more than willing to share with all interested parties, or anyone who will slow down enough to lend an ear. I conclude he does not want advice- mine or anyone else's. In the future I will try my best not to offer opinions. He has heard medical advice over the years that has been blatantly disregarded, resulting in a multiplicity of compounding, disabling problems. All those years of going to appointments, and paying well- educated professionals to provide the benefit of their wisdom and experience has been for nought. There is no reason to expect any alteration on the path, no veering off into sound judgment or changes in a lifetime off poor choices.

I will try to keep my opinions to myself. I often tell people in the workplace when they approach with questions that if I don't know the answer, I will be happy to make something up. I hope most of them realize my response is not serious, but merely put forth for their amusement. But in this day and age of blatant dishonesty spouted forth as representing truth, I guess I need to be a bit more discerning in who might be listening. Cautiously careful to not offer random responses of invented answers, to those who might have been born without a sense of humor. Hard to believe there are people in the world who could have been birthed lacking such a vital part - but it is true!