Monday, March 5, 2018

update on the auntie...

... whether you want to know or not. My amateur diagnosis is that she is fairly stable. Thankfully I am not there on the scene, living with her when she takes a notion to be cantankerous and disagreeable as she can do in a New York minute. When things do not go to suit her, and she feels no one else is concerned, she can understandably get her feathers ruffled, making demands no one seems to have an urgency about fulfilling.

I get calls from C. several times a week, and have just recently stopped to consider: they are consistently being made late in the afternoon, or evening. The last one from yesterday (which I did not answer, and just now listening to on voice mail) she self-reported that it was 'only 8:30', so she is (somewhat) aware of time. This tells me that the info. I have heard repeatedly over the years about confusion appearing to get worse as the day progresses is (at least in her case) certainly true. Referred to by the researchers/experts in memory loss as 'sun-downing'.
I did answer the first (of three) times she called on Sat. evening, and would like to think she was somewhat placated by our conversation - though I am well aware that she had Zero memory of anything either of us said by the time she put the phone receiver down. She told me she was at the Holiday Inn - which is what I often hear from her - especially when, for whatever reason, she calls from the desk located at the intersection of three hallways, where staff is based. Even though there are few 'nurses' on staff, for lack of a better word, I have called it the Nurse's Desk. At least half of the calls I get from her are from the number I have saved for Fellowship, so she is calling from the desk there rather than the number in her room, which is her home number, moved from her house. If she were able to process info, form coherent thoughts, I would wonder if she felt she would be able to 'get through', more likely to talk to someone if the call were placed by staff as opposed to attempting to contact me on her 'home' phone.

She seems to pretty consistently leave messages (or tell me if I actually answer) reporting she is at the Holiday Inn, I assume due to the fact that she is standing there at the chest high desk, plus the act of having to request assistance, have them start the call, asking staff for information. And last night, reported how surprised she was that they told her she was near Valdosta. As usual, she needs help, admitting to being badly confused, but saying she would have to leave in the next couple of days, and hoping I could get down there and be helpful. Which I will actually do, when I go on Wednesday to get her to a couple of dr. appt. 


She went to dental appt. weeks ago, and had a crown process started, but will go back this week to get the permanent replacement for a tooth that had extensive decay. (I did wonder if it was wise to pay all that $$$ to get it fixed, but you don't know where problems might pop up if you leave something you can remedy un-attended - plus she has always, always been so OCD about dental hygiene, caring for her mouth.) I had conversation with S., the director months ago, relating how she had been pestering for an appt. to get to the dentist so S., after talking to me, made an appt. with the dentist she sees in Valdosta, who also happened to be the one Connie had been seeing, but Connie, being Connie, did not remember she had been going there!


And she has an appt. with the NP she has seen several times, who writes the Rx for anxiety meds.  I called this nurse - back in Jan. I think- when the staff at Fellowship reported C. seemed to be more anxious, agitated (back to her ways of months ago of being belligerent and spouting obscenities when she did not get the desired results from her demands), asking that the nurse call the staff directly to get accurate first hand info. so I would not be the middle man. I assume this all occurred and the dosing of the anti-anxiety meds. increased or altered/changed to make her more tractable.
I've told the people at Fellowship all along, possibly even before Connie landed there, that my goal was to make Connie easy for them to live with. And if, as a side effect/benefit, meds might also make her like Herself better, that would be good too!

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