Wednesday, June 6, 2018

the big hot mess...

 ... as related to the Auntie: who she is, is who she will always be. When I spoke to a social worker, or maybe therapist last summer as they were making an effort to evaluate and determine if prescriptions might be helpful in improving her status, I was told that her personality would not change with meds. There could possibly be a moderating of certain traits or behaviors that made her difficult to live with, but who she is and has been for over eighty years would always be the same. I said: "Oh, s#*t, is there no hope for a personality transplant? You can't make her into someone else?" Sadly, the answer will always be: No.

The latest episode in the saga is that she has been remanded to a senior treatment/evaluation center where we hope she can be provided with Rx that will be more effective at 'moderating'. When she was at a different location last June, with a similar plan, she spent nearly two weeks in a center that was located town small town hospital. There were a number of other residents there in a secured wing, devoted to mental health care of senior citizens in the area. Offering services to families who were struggling with providing assistance to aging family members, in need of guidance and advice for providing the support to help family members stay as independent as long as possible. This was in Cook County, about thirty miles north of Valdosta where the auntie has lived for many years.

The staff at the facility in Cook County reported she was 'difficult to re-direct', which I have learned is mental health speak for obstinate. Stubborn. Disagreeable. Highly Opinionated. Uncooperative. All the things I have known about my aunt for years. It is pretty obvious that being together in close quarters, living under one roof, it does not take long to become acquainted with an individuals' personality quirks.

The staff at the residential facility where she has been for a year feels like she is having problems they are not able to manage. Recommending that the Auntie would benefit from going to a different center, for evaluating, hoping to get a better result and make her more tractable. I would have to agree that a good word to describe her would be 'intractable'. Reports from the facility in recent weeks have been alarming: including striking employees, shouting, swearing, threatening workers, unreasonable demands, cursing at fellow residents.

My thought would be: they don't pay me well enough for that! Plus it has always been my goal to do whatever is necessary to help the staff, by making the Auntie easier to live with. I know she can be demanding, insistent on having her way, and unreasonable when that does not happen. Even with medications that might moderate undesirable behavior and traits, it is obvious that the Auntie will continue to be the Auntie.

Upon the advice of the head nurse, received reports of her activities, interactions and recent outbursts, she has been transported to a different location that provides senior citizens with evaluations and assistance. It is more than likely she is not a happy camper where she has been temporarily remanded. This alternative facility, still in south Georgia, is also about thirty minutes from Valdosta. It is almost a certainty that within minutes of her arrival on Tuesday morning, the staff found she is 'very difficult to re-direct'.

It is good to know that there are options, places where people can go for a short stay in dire circumstances. When families are close to the end of their tether, needing assistance, or just a brief respite from being on the front lines on a daily basis. A resource nearby that will give some breathing room, as well as hope for solutions to insurmountable problems. I am hopeful. The head nurse gave me that - with the idea that the staff has much experience specifically with geriatrics and the many complicating factors of aging. Hopeful for moderating extreme behavior that will not take away her personality or sense of humor, but make her easier to live with, even though she will always feel like she is being held hostage.

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