I went to a fundraiser dinner last night, down at the Iron Works Convention Center. For those unfamiliar with Columbus, it is a building that was originally a foundry, built before The War of Northern Aggression, on the east bank of the Chattahoochee River. The space sat empty, un-used for a number of years, then bought by the city to bring back to life in a new form. About the time we relocated to the area, it was renovated and converted into a very attractive meeting place, to lure large corporate meetings and accompanying $$$ to the area. Two huge exhibition halls, numerous smaller classrooms, plus a more recent expansion that created a huge convention/party/dining space. It is a beautiful building, lots of exposed wood,original heart pine beams, old brick, decorative iron architectual detailing all over the exterior and interior of the building, plus all the modern conveniences.
There must have been over a thousand people attending the dinner last night, in support of the Sound Choices Pregnancy Counseling Center. They support Life, counseling women who come in ambivalent about reproducing, encouraging them, offering ultrasounds to show the unborn living baby to the mom, and helping the parent-to-be find the resources she will need to be a good mom. Sponsor this fundraising event every other year, with music, a mediocre meal, and entertainment.
The amusing part: was the guy who was there two years ago, and back last night. Telling the universal story of the aging process. He reported being over fifty, and his doctor recommending an assortment of vitamins and supplements. As he was putting the handful in his mouth, he dropped two on the floor. But found them all, and popped in his mouth. That night when the rest of the household had gone to bed, he started feeling poorly. You know how men are with that... very high maintenance when they are ill - desperate for massive helpings of 'attention'. Very 'needy'. He woke his wife, only to hear: Go to sleep, you will feel better in the morning. He was enjoying suffering so much, he tried to sleep in the recliner, watching awful late night TV. Still feeling terrible. He woke her up again, and got the same response, as she was highly unsympathetic.
He said he got dressed, got in his car and drove himself to the local ER in the wee hours. Totally surprised to find that it was not a-buzz with activity, he went through the usual 'welcoming' routine. After describing intense abdominal pain, they decided to do an ultra-sound. The doctor asked if he had recently had any kind of surgery on his mid-section, as the image indicated the appearance of something that looked like small 'sponges'? And the comment was made that one of the two sponges appeared to have the shape of a dinosaur. So.... you know the rest of the story right?
The wife had taken the kids to the Just a Buck Store earlier in the day, and had given everyone a dollar to spend. So naturally one of the little guys, being boys, was attracted to those little packages of dinosaurs that are squeezed into the clear gelatin capsules. Those gimmicky things you have to put them in water to dissolve the packaging and 'release' the T Rex. Guess what he found when he dropped his daily assortment of supplements on the floor? He said the staff in the ER was calling people from all over the hospital to come and take a look. And that the doctor, when he asked what to do about his intense pain, said you will eventually have a dinosaur-sized poop.
It was hilarious. He seemed to enjoy the crowd so much, he suggested that the Sound Choices sponsors start having the event every year, instead of biennially. We were an excellent audience, and hopefully all laughed off that carb. laden meal.
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