sitting by...

... the glass doors in the kitchen, the ones that open onto the screened porch to the north, I looked down at the floor. Where I saw dozens upon dozens of tiny corpses, looking like someone had recently tossed out a handful of ground black pepper  - wee bodies everywhere! The Man Who Lives Here was nearby, sitting in a chair pulled up to the recently relocated desk where he does his bookkeeping. keeping check writing/bill paying supplies. I made some exclamation of amazement, like 'Holy Cow' or 'Wow', maybe some really tame comment like 'Oh-my-goodness', but more likely an expletive along the lines of 'Holy S#!t'. Gazing upon the endless carnage, continual body count, when my understanding about the 'bait' is that they take it back to their homies and share with others in the hood?

I said "I think I need to invest in an anteater." He said: "Why would you want something whose only skill is to lay around in the yard with it's feet up in the air?" My response was one of mild correction, when I told him "you are thinking about armadillos, those little overgrown rodent looking things. The ones that have all that armor plating, when what I am wishing for is an anteater. They have long fur, covered in hair rather than the rows of tough skin that appear to be protective, but no match for fast moving vehicles."

If I knew where I could find one that is reasonably priced, I would seriously consider the possibility of purchase. Though it might require me to install a pet door in the brick work at the back of the fireplace that is part of the kitchen wall, in order to send my household pet in to eliminate the invading ant problem. In the unlikely event I could find a four-legged solution, doubtful they are house-trained, but if that problem were solved, there is the possibility I could rent the friendly neighborhood anteater out when other people have similar problems as the weather changes.
I don't think they are aggressive to other mammals or homo sapiens, but I will confirm via google before taking out an advertisement for ant-removal services.

This was all just a joke, me amusing myself. I just googled them, and there is actually an article about making them pets, with the advice at the end being: Don't. They are scarce, must be hand raised from birth to domesticate. Starting cost of $3,000 to $8000, then double that to build your exotic pet a suitable environment as they have specific needs and are very destructive, to say nothing of odor: much more pungent than skunks. Enough said!