reflecting....

Completely out of character, it is. Me up, wide-eyed at nearly 10:00 p.m.Not even remotely sleepy...

Every time I do this crazy thing, I tell myself: Never Again. And then for some crazy reason, I find myself doing it again. I drove to south Georgia and back yesterday. Especially nutty after having worked a half day at my little jobette. It is a three  hour drive - no way around it. It takes three hours to get there, and double that to get back. I think this trip qualifies me for the 'prize' as far as doing it in the least amount of time. Left Columbus about noon, and was back home by 8:00 p.m.

My logic is that it was not my 'choice', but something that came upon me requiring my attention without delay. I went to the funeral of a friend from high school: she had been having health problems for some time, but think that the sudden demise was not expected by her family. I'd lost her for years, and just reconnected a couple of years ago - so I was surprised as well. Having lost touch, I do not know much about the intervening years, but from what I understand she had a rich, full good life with lots of interesting experiences as an airline stewardess, raising and racing horses, working as a loan officer in a bank, being a mom to three children, and having been blessed with grandchildren she was crazy about. And writing books: she was a published author! Don't think you can ask for much more than that, along with the certainty of knowing where you will go after the last breath has been exhaled.

I did not know until I read the obituary that she was only three weeks older than I am - which makes one feel a cold breath, and little prickly hairs standing up on the back of the neck. I've thought on and off for years that I should be composing my own obit. to be sure they get it like I want: leave out the stuff that is nobody's business and put in the things that would make people say: 'Really?' and 'Hmmmm...' when they read it, with an occasional 'Oh, I remember her!' I'm not sure I am quite 'olde' enough yet to feel like I have lived down all the stuff I did as a wandering, wayward youth, and know I am not old enough to have done all the stuff I want to do... Where did I put that bucket list, anyway?

If you want to have any control of what they say about you that one last time, I suggest starting right away. And while you are at it, you might as well make some decisions about what you want going on when they say the Last Goodby. 'American Pie, 'Amazing Grace' will do it for me. After the minister spoke, the family had a song played, that I suspect was Sara's choice. Really hearing the words of the song invariably brings pause, and likely brings the whole crowd to their knees: 'I  Can Only Imagine' never fails bring to make you think....

I've say I wanted to be cremated, and made any number of decisions about what to do with the leftovers - but after going to the Last Goodby on Sunday afternoon, I think the beach on Key West is a great way to end. They said she loved to travel, so it is so fitting that her daughters will accompany her on one last trip!