pondering life...

... and had a thought occur, something I had never realized, or considered before. I seem to have this inexplicable urge to give my time away. Which is especially strange, coming from the person who is forever preaching sermons about how Time is our most valuable asset. The thing, that one specific thing we have in limited supply seems to be something we are most willing to waste, squander the minutes and hours without awareness of those missed opportunities leaking away.

I do a lot of volunteer work, in various capacities, donating my time to organizations that are often dependent on free labor to keep the wheels turning. Extra, unpaid sets of hands and feet, used as labor in a variety of ways to maintain motion and continue to operate.  I do some literacy stuff, work at the Botanical Gardens, help out with recycling programs, environmental stuff, occasionally provide transport for people who need to get to treatment center for cancer infusions.

That 'free ride' business was my project for Tuesday afternoon. I picked up a man on the north side of town and took him down to his appointment. I had (as usual) a book to read, knowing I would be waiting a while, and told him I would just sit in the lobby. After I finished my book, and realized the appointment was taking much longer than I had expected, I inquired about my rider. He had to get some blood work done and was sent to the lab.

I waited some more. Began to be thankful for my health. Grateful that I was the person who was driving, just a way for the patient to get from one place to another. Appreciating the fact that I was not in need of the care, attention, drugs dispensed at the cancer treatment center. Feeling fortunate that I am relatively healthy even though I know parts are beginning to be unreliable, and accept the fact that we were not designed to live/function/last forever.

Then I sadly, suddenly, realized that Cancer has no discretion when it chooses victims. My dad died of cancer though he fought it as long and fiercely as he could. My brother died of an inoperable brain tumor. The Man Who Lives Here has been treated for cancer. That's two first degree relations who are gone due to the pervasive effects of Cancer. As much money as we throw at it, why is it still around?