"true confessions"

This is so bad, but so funny, I need to share it.

Paul sent Paula and Chad to the 'package store' last week, when they were here and wanted to build a fire in the back yard to 'test' their fire pit. It is apparently an essential part of fire-building to have beer handy when sitting around the campfire. (Definitely not something we learned in Girl Scouts, but what do we know?) They were going to buy a six-pack, so Paul gave them money for the beer and a small bottle of 'spirits'. My assignment was to go to the grocery store for the making for "s'more"s.

When we got home, the fire was starting to crackle and look cheery. Paul had his beverage (90 proof with diet Coke). The old people got cold and went inside, him to his remote/TV and me to bed. They stayed up visiting with friends pretty late, so could not get motivated to go to early church.

When we got home about 10:30 Sunday morning they had started packing everything in her car to go back to TN. I sent all the left-over "s'more" ingredients with them, as well as the bottle of Mr. Daniels. I only had a couple of seconds of hesitation about putting an open bottle of alcohol in the car (open container law) because I could not imagine anyone digging through all that load to get down to the box where the alcohol was located. So off they went, laden with Gwen, gifts, a week's worth of dirty laundry... back to Tennessee. And taking Paul's bottle of whiskey.

When it got to be New Year's Eve, and he was asking if we had any Coke around, he said he was going to have a drink to celebrate. I said I gave his bottle away. He got really ticked, saying he had paid for it. I said I would get him another one. So: I bought him a replacement half-pint at "Boo's" package store (say it out loud). This particular 'bottle store' is located in a shopping center across the parking lot from a Christian Bookstore where I had something I needed to pick up. So I put the half-pint in my pocket and went in the Bible bookstore and got my special order. Fortunately there were no Bapists standing by the door to 'frisk' me when I went in, nor a security check-point to see if I had a bottle of liquid that was over 3 ounces on my person when I walked in.

You have to give me credit for the fact that it was not premediated, but when I think about it: pretty funny. Or maybe it was premediated...???

He never did have that drink. I even made a trip to Publix to get him a diet soda to mix the liquor with, and picked up his insulin Rx that says: "when taking this medication Do Not Drink Alcoholic Beverages".