I have had two days of substitute teaching since schools started back in session on Jan. 5. I am not sure my conscience feels really 'clear' about accepting the pay for the little effort that was involved, so I would like to take this opportunity to give it a little 'rinse cycle' and 'fluff dry' to get over feeling like I did not actually deserve to be paid for my time (especially since I have been saying for years that school bus drivers and sub. teachers are the most underpaid and underappreciated people on the planet, actually thinking that Whatever They Are Paying: Ain't Enough!)
One of the days was me getting a call, long after the computer generated sub. finder system should have gone to sleep (only calls between 6a-9a, then again 6p-9p looking for replacments) one morning when I was sitting at the keyboard emailing in my pajamas. So I took the job, but called the school to be sure the position has not been filled before I even got dressed to head out in the cold. I put on layers and layers, made a lunch and loaded up, actually getting to the school at nearly 10:00 am. to do the teacher's aide job up on the northside in a pre-K. class. It was not a bad day, even though the 'teacher' was a substitue as well, but she had been in the class often enough to know the schedule, students, manage them well.
The other job was across town, almost to Ft. Benning, as far south as you can go and still be within the boundaries of the Muscogee County School District. There were only five kids in the class: you guessed it... Special Ed. The school secretary actually called me the night before saying the 'sub-finder' was down and she was searching for teachers. I told her I had no experience, was not trained, had not qualifications but I would give it a shot if she could promise me lots of 'support personnel'. She said there are usually two other people with them, and sometimes three, plus their teacher (who has been out a lot in the past year on sick leave).
I don't think those five little guys will ever acquire the basic skills they need to live independently in society. I spent the whole day torn between feeling really sad pondering their individual and collective futures - and - being so frustrated when they could not sit still, focus, do very basic assignments, follow instructions, locate paper, pencil or books, generally function in a fifth grade classroom. I think about families, and people who are their support system/home life and how they must all feel the same way: knowing these guys have chronic, severe developmental problems, will likely never get to the point of having a sense of 'success' or competence in their lives. And this is just five adolescents in one little elementary school...
We were talking this morning about a recent news cast, how all of the ten or so local crimes were attributed to (alleged perp.)young black males. I'm thinking: babies, conceivced in eleven-year old kids, who are consorting with irresponsible adolescent guys influenced by alcohol or drugs with their own major LD problems to pass along in the DNA, being raised by aunties or great-grandma, sitting in front of the TV until they get old enough to go to lottery-funded pre-K programs. How do those babies stand a chance of becoming productive members of our society, or hope of ever having any sense of accomplishment, success, feeling good about themselves?
No comments:
Post a Comment