your second serving of a soupy substance...

I feel like I am performing, on a stage, under a spotlight (or magnifying glass), and not sure I am fully capable of coming up with words worthy of appearing in print, especially having gotten started on this so late in the day.

I've had people tell me I should consider 'writing', but somehow have the feeling it was because A) I keep corresponding whethere anyone responds or not, and B) obviously verbose.

Today: I set the alarm for 5 a.m., though not necessary because that unspeakably early hours is normal for me to be wide awake, thinking of what I could be doing if I would get up and going. I'd agreed to be back at a retreat center in Harris County, to be a 'worker bee' in the kitchen, to assist with preparing and serving meals. It obviously takes a lot of behind the scenes volunteers to make these things go smoothly. And likely compared to lots of other more worldly jobs where tedium is terrifyingly interrupted by periodic emergency/crisis/fire drills.

I've been trying to be really diligent and conscientious about what I put in my mouth, carefully keeping a food diary (which I threw out the window on the way home!) I have not been so badly influenced since raiding my kid's Halloween stash, one of whom would still have stale candycorn and lint-covered Snickers at Easter! Never knew such fine, sincere, upstanding, law-abiding Christians could be such a bad influence on my good intentions... but tomorrow is a new day, new opportunity to walk the straight and narrow way (which I could probably do a whole lot better if there were not so many homemade sweets calling my name, in urgent need of Quality Control Testing!)

I did not really want to go, though I made the commitment months ago. Tried to find someone who would graciously allow me to weasel out of the weekend, but no one would even return my calls, so I pretty much knew I was stuck. It has been good, sweet, a blessing to serve this group of men who are taking the time to seek, search, desiring to devote their lives to being living proof of saving grace and mercy. So I will set my alarm for 5, and go again....