... is nearly as surprising to me as it will be to anyone who reads this.Wow. The auntie has been relocated, very much against her will. The petition to probate court for guardian was approved. And we proceed. When we were in court two weeks ago, and the judge asked what the plan would be in the petition was granted, the first thing suggested was to get her someplace she could receive needed nutrition, regular meals, proper medications and be around other people.
I don't think she was eating right, to maintain health (as evidenced by continual weight loss and chronic UTI), anyone who talked with her could tell she was struggling mentally (which will hopefully improve with someone around to supervise and dispense Rx). She was constantly calling people at all hours of the day and night complaining of being alone, fearful, anxious, not knowing where she was (all the while dialing these middle of the night pleas from her home phone.)
She was taken to a facility in south GA where she will get all those things. When she arrived, she was very angry, ferociously swearing and threatening everyone within spitting distance. Determined that she would throttle the responsible parties at first opportunity. Then decided she really liked one person on the staff who tried to assist her, and settled down to some cake and ice cream.
The people with experience in this type situation say when you finally get that recalcitrant individual relocated you need to make yourself scarce. Keep your distance, stay away for a week. Give that obstreperous dementia-consumed person time to adjust, settle in. Then bring ice cream when you are finally brave enough to go for a visit.
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
a day for remembrance...
He told me months ago, maybe last year, about a friend and fellow volunteer whose family had a small paver made with military info. on it, installed along the edge of a wide walkway through the Avenue of Flags at the Museum. That family came together to be present for the dedication and lunch in the restaurant for some family bonding time. The friend, RW, asked The Man Who Lives Here to join his family for lunch. A happy event with extended family gathered around.
I thought: 'What a sweet idea... I should do that.' Got the paperwork to complete the order for the small brick-sized paver, but could not decide what the inscription should be. So, though I wanted it to all be a big surprise, I had to ask him about the wording. Limited space and too much to say. He decided and we sent the form off. You get a little replica, paper-weight sized granite block when you place your order, but I requested four more, for all the daughters to have one.
He did not know all the daughters were coming to be present at the dedication, and stay for lunch. I know he was surprised, and I think delighted to see them all in one place at the same time: everyone showed up. It was a blistering hot day, sitting in the morning sun for the thankfully short ceremony. Invocation, introduction of various dignitaries, brief speech given, prayer, taps and all done.
We went inside the refreshingly cool museum. Up stairs to lunch in the restaurant. Where one of the daughters got a call and had to leave. She is a midwife and expected to not even attend, but at least got through the dedication and photo taking before dashing off for baby delivery.
After lunch we went to view the newly installed and dedicated paver. More photos and everyone left to go their separate ways. All driving for hours to get here, and more of the same to get back home. Thanks for coming.
Monday, May 29, 2017
weekend visitors...
...who came in on Friday, when I was not even here. Not a very auspicious beginning for being a good host to guests. In truth, I had not planned on being on the road, dealing with the auntie in Valdosta when we started making plans for them to come. The simplest explanation is one that is universally true: Life is complicated. In the sense that Murphy's Law will always take precedence.
But arrive they did, before I could get back to town from a day that was a 'stay and see Georgia' tour. Starting with driving from Atlanta almost to Florida and then back to Georgia's West Coast here on the Chattahoochee River. I will usually be prepared with recorded books to keep my mind occupied, accompany me on my travels. But I was searching the dial, looking for public radio stations this time.
I knew they were coming, and had been adding items to a honey-do list for chores that I would like to accomplish. Some I will eventually get around to doing, but also several I did not have the skills or knowledge to manage on my own. Much of the benefit/joy of list making is found in being able to mark through things as the project is completed. I am pleased to report a number of things were done.The productivity went on late in the day yesterday.
The two have been busy little bees. Getting things started and finished that were not actually on the list, so: Yay! In order to be even more efficient and productive, you just add the extras and immediately strike through that addition. As with most homeowner projects, sadly the list is never-ending. But it looks much better this morning than before the diligent pair arrived. Thanks to the two industrious house guests and one nosey dog.
But arrive they did, before I could get back to town from a day that was a 'stay and see Georgia' tour. Starting with driving from Atlanta almost to Florida and then back to Georgia's West Coast here on the Chattahoochee River. I will usually be prepared with recorded books to keep my mind occupied, accompany me on my travels. But I was searching the dial, looking for public radio stations this time.
I knew they were coming, and had been adding items to a honey-do list for chores that I would like to accomplish. Some I will eventually get around to doing, but also several I did not have the skills or knowledge to manage on my own. Much of the benefit/joy of list making is found in being able to mark through things as the project is completed. I am pleased to report a number of things were done.The productivity went on late in the day yesterday.
The two have been busy little bees. Getting things started and finished that were not actually on the list, so: Yay! In order to be even more efficient and productive, you just add the extras and immediately strike through that addition. As with most homeowner projects, sadly the list is never-ending. But it looks much better this morning than before the diligent pair arrived. Thanks to the two industrious house guests and one nosey dog.
Sunday, May 28, 2017
probate court: part 3...
... you might also be wondering, just precisely why: was she in the ER at the medical center? The story I heard was that she had called 911. Which is in itself remarkable, due to the fact that it is what we had been trying to get her to do if she had a problem. The number anyone can dial would be most likely to get a response.
EMS did answer and did respond. She was apparently dressed and ready to go for a ride at 6:54 am when she was taken to the emergency room. My assumption is that the EMTs got to her house and checked her over, found her relatively stable (physically) and did not know what to do with her, so they transported her to the hospital. Whereupon the staff did the research, found her history and discovered the next of kin, explaining why I got the call. While I was most fortuitously already en route.
Why she called 911? According to what I was told when I arrived to retrieve her, she was 'lonely'.
EMS did answer and did respond. She was apparently dressed and ready to go for a ride at 6:54 am when she was taken to the emergency room. My assumption is that the EMTs got to her house and checked her over, found her relatively stable (physically) and did not know what to do with her, so they transported her to the hospital. Whereupon the staff did the research, found her history and discovered the next of kin, explaining why I got the call. While I was most fortuitously already en route.
Why she called 911? According to what I was told when I arrived to retrieve her, she was 'lonely'.
Saturday, May 27, 2017
probate court: part 2..
... the person who was willing to drive from Atlanta to Valdosta to get paperwork from the attorney's office to the bank nearly had an uneventful trip. Until I was about thirty minutes north of my destination, when I got a call from Valdosta. A nurse in the ER at the hospital reporting my aunt was there and they were not sure what to do with her. Unbelievably, I was only a half hour away.
After taking care of banking business, I went to retrieve the auntie. She was not very communicative, so I knew she did not want me to be there, or anywhere near her person. We went to get some lunch that did not suit her.
Then a visit to her doctor's office. She needed lab work done, as I was fairly sure there was some medical problem. Yep. We picked up the first dose of a ten day Rx, and I took her home. Home was not my first choice. But could not get her into a facility without proving a non-reactive TB test. What a mess.
She totally flew off the handle with me in the exam. room, when the PA asked which pharmacy to use, and I answered for her. I was accused of minding her business, telling her what to do, and being 'bossy', which according to her I have been doing since I was four years old. Now is a good time to remember that she has dementia, and cannot remember anything: especially something she said two minutes ago. So I forgive her for that. And might find it amusing.
I will have to do some soul-searching and ponder on this. The trait that popped out of her mouth is one that I have never ever considered for myself. I can tell some things I know about me, but this is not even remotely me. Completely unwilling to confront, rarely standing up for myself, taking the easy way out, always agreeable, reluctant to be the one spoiling for a fight. I cannot imagine how, why, where this came from.
After taking care of banking business, I went to retrieve the auntie. She was not very communicative, so I knew she did not want me to be there, or anywhere near her person. We went to get some lunch that did not suit her.
Then a visit to her doctor's office. She needed lab work done, as I was fairly sure there was some medical problem. Yep. We picked up the first dose of a ten day Rx, and I took her home. Home was not my first choice. But could not get her into a facility without proving a non-reactive TB test. What a mess.
She totally flew off the handle with me in the exam. room, when the PA asked which pharmacy to use, and I answered for her. I was accused of minding her business, telling her what to do, and being 'bossy', which according to her I have been doing since I was four years old. Now is a good time to remember that she has dementia, and cannot remember anything: especially something she said two minutes ago. So I forgive her for that. And might find it amusing.
I will have to do some soul-searching and ponder on this. The trait that popped out of her mouth is one that I have never ever considered for myself. I can tell some things I know about me, but this is not even remotely me. Completely unwilling to confront, rarely standing up for myself, taking the easy way out, always agreeable, reluctant to be the one spoiling for a fight. I cannot imagine how, why, where this came from.
probate court...
...just to keep those who have been sitting on the edge informed. The family drama continues apace. There are surely those who wonder why I did this to myself. Along with 'what were you thinking?' But the simple truth is someone needed to do it, and I found myself in the position of being Somebody.
The auntie has no short term memory, and there is no point in attempting to remind her of things. Like a conversation we just had five minutes ago, or something we did together when I was nine years old. Nothing 'sticks', like those movies you have seen where the lead character cannot recall events from the previous day and gets important facts tatoo'ed as a reminder. Which is ok, unless you are declining into dementia and will eventually forget how to read.
It took the better part of a week for the process of getting a bond approved and returned to the court. While I thought we were waiting for the court to issue and deliver the document, in reality the Judge was waiting for the bonding process to be completed. Then, and only then, can the order be issued. So it was Friday, just yesterday, before the paperwork was available.
I had prepared to drive to Valdosta to get the paperwork from the attorney, and take it to the bank to secure the auntie's finances. Fearful that she would do something that the bank staff could not prevent, even though they could clearly see there was a problem. The manager was most willing to help me with transferring authority to keep funds safe.
Even though I was not mentally prepared to devote my day to tending to her business, I am practicing the art of adaptability. Which means, I suppose, flexible enough to be willing to allow her needs to take precedence. I am pretty sure anyone who travels this path has absolutely no idea what they are getting into when they take the first step. I just knew someone needed to step up and take responsiblity, and here I am: Somebody
The auntie has no short term memory, and there is no point in attempting to remind her of things. Like a conversation we just had five minutes ago, or something we did together when I was nine years old. Nothing 'sticks', like those movies you have seen where the lead character cannot recall events from the previous day and gets important facts tatoo'ed as a reminder. Which is ok, unless you are declining into dementia and will eventually forget how to read.
It took the better part of a week for the process of getting a bond approved and returned to the court. While I thought we were waiting for the court to issue and deliver the document, in reality the Judge was waiting for the bonding process to be completed. Then, and only then, can the order be issued. So it was Friday, just yesterday, before the paperwork was available.
I had prepared to drive to Valdosta to get the paperwork from the attorney, and take it to the bank to secure the auntie's finances. Fearful that she would do something that the bank staff could not prevent, even though they could clearly see there was a problem. The manager was most willing to help me with transferring authority to keep funds safe.
Even though I was not mentally prepared to devote my day to tending to her business, I am practicing the art of adaptability. Which means, I suppose, flexible enough to be willing to allow her needs to take precedence. I am pretty sure anyone who travels this path has absolutely no idea what they are getting into when they take the first step. I just knew someone needed to step up and take responsiblity, and here I am: Somebody
a new one for your consumption...
... an expression that you will enjoy when you find many occasions to use. Found in the course of the trip we made to Seattle and Portland. We spent most nights with a friend I had met when we were both with child, and those children are now in their mid-thirties. As well as most of our days when she was an excellent and accommodating tour guide. Chauffeuring us local points of interest, places of historic note, and geographical wonders as well as 'off the beaten path' odd-ball places we still enjoy laughing about.
Because we have birthing classes and actually delivering in common there will always be a connection. So we can start a conversation in one decade and pick up the thread in another. A sweet though distant friend. Daughters born about the same time, who were forced together as infants do not have that bond we do though I wish they felt like Twins Separated at Birth.
We went to see her daughter briefly, and had a short visit with bustling household. One of the granddaughters related a story about a classmate who seemed unable to focus, stay on task with assignments. Referring to the student as 'la-de-da-ing around', which seems to be succinct and self-explanatory.
I have enjoyed finding occasions to use that term, and have applied it to a variety of circumstances. There are people in my life who seem to have perfected it as an art, spending excessive amounts of time doing what my mom would refer to as 'lolly-gagging' and I would call malingering. But the term of la-de-da-ing makes it sound much more enjoyable. Feel free to adapt and apply as you find opportunity.
Because we have birthing classes and actually delivering in common there will always be a connection. So we can start a conversation in one decade and pick up the thread in another. A sweet though distant friend. Daughters born about the same time, who were forced together as infants do not have that bond we do though I wish they felt like Twins Separated at Birth.
We went to see her daughter briefly, and had a short visit with bustling household. One of the granddaughters related a story about a classmate who seemed unable to focus, stay on task with assignments. Referring to the student as 'la-de-da-ing around', which seems to be succinct and self-explanatory.
I have enjoyed finding occasions to use that term, and have applied it to a variety of circumstances. There are people in my life who seem to have perfected it as an art, spending excessive amounts of time doing what my mom would refer to as 'lolly-gagging' and I would call malingering. But the term of la-de-da-ing makes it sound much more enjoyable. Feel free to adapt and apply as you find opportunity.
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