"There comes a time in your
life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You
surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on
the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life
is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting
back up is living." ~Unknown (but it sounds like Robert Fulghum, huh?)
I don't know who wrote it, but I am in complete, total agreement. There are too many things in life - both our own personal little dysfunctions, (and crazy family members who seem to be in a state of continuous spontaneous combustibality, dragging drama around, like that little cloud of dust the kid in the Peanuts cartoon had following him with every step he made, was he 'Pigpen'? Or those cars you see clunking down the street with the tailpipe dragging, and sparkler-like fireworks following everywhere they go) and Life in general, to spend time stewing about things we cannot control.
Monday, September 30, 2013
just something to think about..
My friend from WA. and I were sitting at Eddie's after taking a walk around the block, so we could invite ourselves back in for another serving of pumpkin spice cheese cake with two spoons. We were happily spooning in our second dessert and chatting away. F., the kitchen manager, was called away to solve a problem, as it was her night to be at work for the closing procedures at the end of the business day (getting home at midnight if she's lucky.).
The 'problem' was a man who had apparently been walking around downtown for three hours trying to find someone who would help him out with some funding. His wife and son were standing on the sidewalk, waiting downstairs. They had obviously been walking the streets for hours with him, in hopes of some assistance to the tune of $22 to pay for a night's lodging. That sweet person I will now take credit for raising, F., came back in to sit down after talking with the man, saying she had taken $40 out of her pocket and given him. She said he did not look shabby, or unkempt, but was neatly dressed, with khakis, plaid shirt and sweater vest. I assume, he offered to do any kind of work she had in exchange for the financial help. She asked if he needed a meal, and he started crying. He asked if he could go get his wife and son, and the three had big, fat, juicy hamburgers for their supper.
My friend and I watched this whole thing unfold, and took up a collection (the two of us) to replace the forty dollars she had donated for them to pay for a room for the night. And got the report that when the servers/wait staff heard the story, they all pitched in ten bucks each, so they gave the family another $100. Remember: these are people who depend on the tips they get for serving to make a living, and ten bucks out of a servers' pocket is a big deal.
I'm usually a pretty easy touch, a sucker for anyone's hard luck story, but I questioned her about why she was so quick to pull cash out of her pocket and hand it over to this guy. She said 'that's the way my mama raised me'... so I am thankful for so so so so many things right now: A roof over my head, a pantry and fridge full of food (some of which we will throw away, uneaten), warm safe place to stay, comfy bed, financial resources that allow freedom from worry/anxiety about tomorrow and any challenges sunrise might bring. Daughters who can feel the touch in their hearts, and desire to ease others' pain, and have the resources to do so when called upon.
As I lay in bed this morning thinking about that tidy, well groomed, desperate man, I thought about how difficult his life must be. How he expects, of himself, to be the provider, main-stay, bread-winner of his family. And finds himself reduced to walking the streets, asking people for help to feed and house them. How heart-wrenching his situation is, and how humiliating it must be to spend hours and hours asking for help, to hear: "No". And "Sorry". And "Go Away".
This story is certainly not limited to this one man, but to hundreds and thousands in recent months and years. People who have found themselves without employment, surprised to unexpectedly discover no work, job loss snowballing into lost housing, and hunger, and desperate straits with worries about providing for family. So they are out there looking for shelters that will take them in, (most of which rarely keep families 'intact') to provide bed and meals for families.
So... just in case you haven't counted your blessings today... now's the time. Me: I feel like I had an encounter with a modern day 'good Samaritan'.
The 'problem' was a man who had apparently been walking around downtown for three hours trying to find someone who would help him out with some funding. His wife and son were standing on the sidewalk, waiting downstairs. They had obviously been walking the streets for hours with him, in hopes of some assistance to the tune of $22 to pay for a night's lodging. That sweet person I will now take credit for raising, F., came back in to sit down after talking with the man, saying she had taken $40 out of her pocket and given him. She said he did not look shabby, or unkempt, but was neatly dressed, with khakis, plaid shirt and sweater vest. I assume, he offered to do any kind of work she had in exchange for the financial help. She asked if he needed a meal, and he started crying. He asked if he could go get his wife and son, and the three had big, fat, juicy hamburgers for their supper.
My friend and I watched this whole thing unfold, and took up a collection (the two of us) to replace the forty dollars she had donated for them to pay for a room for the night. And got the report that when the servers/wait staff heard the story, they all pitched in ten bucks each, so they gave the family another $100. Remember: these are people who depend on the tips they get for serving to make a living, and ten bucks out of a servers' pocket is a big deal.
I'm usually a pretty easy touch, a sucker for anyone's hard luck story, but I questioned her about why she was so quick to pull cash out of her pocket and hand it over to this guy. She said 'that's the way my mama raised me'... so I am thankful for so so so so many things right now: A roof over my head, a pantry and fridge full of food (some of which we will throw away, uneaten), warm safe place to stay, comfy bed, financial resources that allow freedom from worry/anxiety about tomorrow and any challenges sunrise might bring. Daughters who can feel the touch in their hearts, and desire to ease others' pain, and have the resources to do so when called upon.
As I lay in bed this morning thinking about that tidy, well groomed, desperate man, I thought about how difficult his life must be. How he expects, of himself, to be the provider, main-stay, bread-winner of his family. And finds himself reduced to walking the streets, asking people for help to feed and house them. How heart-wrenching his situation is, and how humiliating it must be to spend hours and hours asking for help, to hear: "No". And "Sorry". And "Go Away".
This story is certainly not limited to this one man, but to hundreds and thousands in recent months and years. People who have found themselves without employment, surprised to unexpectedly discover no work, job loss snowballing into lost housing, and hunger, and desperate straits with worries about providing for family. So they are out there looking for shelters that will take them in, (most of which rarely keep families 'intact') to provide bed and meals for families.
So... just in case you haven't counted your blessings today... now's the time. Me: I feel like I had an encounter with a modern day 'good Samaritan'.
flat stanley's visit...
Stanley, as an uninvited guest, did go to a country wedding on Sat. evening. A young couple from church got hitched out in the yard... the wedding venue was a cleared out patch under the pecan trees, surrounded by family, friends and rows of planted pines. The bridesmaids all wore whatever, with bare feet, and the grooms men were in khakis and white shirts. Very Informal. The groom was probably in the first suit he ever owned. Sweet and happy couple. The reception was in front of the brides' (former) home, where her parents live, with lots of rustic decorations, like the agricultural equipment you see Stanley standing on in the first photo.
The second photo is of my (long lost) friend who lived at Ft. Benning when we were pregnant with first babies (now thirty!???), who came to ATL for a family wedding this weekend. We met and had too much good eats at daughter's work place: a plug for the local well-known live music venue in downtown Decatur, Eddie's Attic.
The other photos were taken Sunday evening as we were roaming the streets unsupervised in downtown. One by the gazebo behind the Old Courthouse, that sits above the underground Marta Station for downtown Decatur. And one in the CVS down on the corner, right there, smack dab on East Ponce de Leon Street, in front of the aisle full of Halloween decor and candy. There were others that we should have taken when it was not so dark, but that is what happens when we are left to our own devices with no adult supervision... so you probably won't see the others taken around the courthouse/downtown area.
But you will see photos when I sent him off with the friend, E., who is visiting in Decatur, as she is going back home. She has agreed to take Stan the Man on a little side adventure: he is going to the west coast. I hope we get the prize for a Stanley having travelled the greatest distance, like you do when you go to family reunions, and get a cupcake for having travelled from Mars to attend.
Friday, September 27, 2013
this is how it played out...
There was a monumental amount of confusion about the flowers for the baby funeral. Several other Publix stores got involved, when the auntie of the baby was told she would have to find the arrangement someplace else, as the floral guy was not working this week. As it turned out, one of the other stores decided to give the flowers for the baby casket to the family. Which is great, and what my store manager probably would have done, if I had asked him about it. (And likely would have paid for it out of his pocket: when I told him the story, he gave me cash from his wallet, and said:' to whom much is given, much is required'. So I have no doubt that if I had told him of the family's need, he would have been willing to provide the flowers for the funeral.)
So when I finally got in touch with the family - another long convoluted story - I told the auntie I had some cash some friends had put together. And since Publix was donating the flowers, I thought I should just donate the cash that community group friends had generously offered. And let the family to use in whatever way they felt was best. Also told her about a local support center that provides bereavement counseling for families that have lost babies, help with a meal for the family following the internment.and possibly some financial assistance for funeral costs.
I'd like to think all this generosity will someday come home to roost- though ultimately, it doesn't matter. In reality - that's not why people are so willing to pitch in when they hear of families finding themselves in dire straits, or heart-wrenching situations. You do it just because it is the right thing to do.
So when I finally got in touch with the family - another long convoluted story - I told the auntie I had some cash some friends had put together. And since Publix was donating the flowers, I thought I should just donate the cash that community group friends had generously offered. And let the family to use in whatever way they felt was best. Also told her about a local support center that provides bereavement counseling for families that have lost babies, help with a meal for the family following the internment.and possibly some financial assistance for funeral costs.
I'd like to think all this generosity will someday come home to roost- though ultimately, it doesn't matter. In reality - that's not why people are so willing to pitch in when they hear of families finding themselves in dire straits, or heart-wrenching situations. You do it just because it is the right thing to do.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
in an effort to self-promote....
Operating on the theory that 'it pays to advertise', and in an effort to get as much attention as possible: I wore the 'Today's my birthday' pin/button to work. It was interesting that so few people actually looked at me today, but those who did offered best wishes.
I was leaving work, standing in the check out line, waiting for my turn, with a container of cut watermelon cubes in hand. The person behind me was a complete stranger. The group behind her was a friend from church with two of her kids. When I turned around and spoke to Kelly, she said 'Is it your birthday?'. I said 'yes, do you want to sing to me?' So she did, along with me, and both her daughters. The woman in the middle started singing along. We had quite a nice sing-a-long going. Too bad there was no campfire and marshmallows involved...
The child, standing there with her mom, who was the complete stranger, asked 'Mom? Who is Fran?' when we got through. So the complete stranger introduced me to her mortified child.
Just to let you know that you are not the only people with a mom who can embarrass you half-to-death in the check out line at the grocery store.
I was leaving work, standing in the check out line, waiting for my turn, with a container of cut watermelon cubes in hand. The person behind me was a complete stranger. The group behind her was a friend from church with two of her kids. When I turned around and spoke to Kelly, she said 'Is it your birthday?'. I said 'yes, do you want to sing to me?' So she did, along with me, and both her daughters. The woman in the middle started singing along. We had quite a nice sing-a-long going. Too bad there was no campfire and marshmallows involved...
The child, standing there with her mom, who was the complete stranger, asked 'Mom? Who is Fran?' when we got through. So the complete stranger introduced me to her mortified child.
Just to let you know that you are not the only people with a mom who can embarrass you half-to-death in the check out line at the grocery store.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
a sad story...
I was at work yesterday. Pretty unusual for me to be on the schedule on a Monday. But there I was, due to my co-worker in the floral dept. taking some vacation time. It was right about time for me to leave for the day, and one of the produce guys said I needed to go talk to a customer. So I went up and introduced myself, asking how I could help?
She said she was looking for someone who could help her 'with the flower thing you put on a casket'. She was a young mom, with three small, but active/industrious kids in tow. As I was filling complimentary balloons, hoping to distract the kids, the mom was telling me that her niece, who was nineteen days old, had died and she was trying to order flowers to go on the casket for the funeral this weekend. Apparently, something I had never thought about: anytime a baby, small child dies from unknown causes, there is an autopsy. I assume the state requires it. So after the baby died, they went to the hospital and ended up having to leave the infant there. Awful. And cannot proceed with final rites until the autopsy is completed and the body is released. Awful-er. They are trying to plan the funeral for Saturday, but don't know if that is possible, because they have to wait for the cororner to let them have their baby back. Waiting. Awful-est.
I talked to my co-worker, who gave me the best price I could make her for a small fresh flower blanket. Which was 'way less than what another shop had quoted. So she said she would take it. I went to the funeral home today to find out about the size of an infant's casket. And discover the little fern and flower blanket to go on top only needs to be about twenty four inches long.
I was thinking about how I could help: suspecting the family will be struggling financially as well as emotionally after being overwhelmed by this unexpected turn of events. Wondering what I could do to bless these heartbroken people; decided to figure out how to give the flowers to the family. The plan: recruit some friends to help me pay for the flowers. If I could get eight people to put in ten dollars each, I could tell the aunt when she comes on Friday to pick up the arrangement , 'it has been paid'. I wrote a note to the community group to ask if they would like to help. Hopefully enough folks will come through that I can tell Jennifer when I see her on Friday, that she will not be paying for the little baby-sized flower blanket out of her pocket.
She said she was looking for someone who could help her 'with the flower thing you put on a casket'. She was a young mom, with three small, but active/industrious kids in tow. As I was filling complimentary balloons, hoping to distract the kids, the mom was telling me that her niece, who was nineteen days old, had died and she was trying to order flowers to go on the casket for the funeral this weekend. Apparently, something I had never thought about: anytime a baby, small child dies from unknown causes, there is an autopsy. I assume the state requires it. So after the baby died, they went to the hospital and ended up having to leave the infant there. Awful. And cannot proceed with final rites until the autopsy is completed and the body is released. Awful-er. They are trying to plan the funeral for Saturday, but don't know if that is possible, because they have to wait for the cororner to let them have their baby back. Waiting. Awful-est.
I talked to my co-worker, who gave me the best price I could make her for a small fresh flower blanket. Which was 'way less than what another shop had quoted. So she said she would take it. I went to the funeral home today to find out about the size of an infant's casket. And discover the little fern and flower blanket to go on top only needs to be about twenty four inches long.
I was thinking about how I could help: suspecting the family will be struggling financially as well as emotionally after being overwhelmed by this unexpected turn of events. Wondering what I could do to bless these heartbroken people; decided to figure out how to give the flowers to the family. The plan: recruit some friends to help me pay for the flowers. If I could get eight people to put in ten dollars each, I could tell the aunt when she comes on Friday to pick up the arrangement , 'it has been paid'. I wrote a note to the community group to ask if they would like to help. Hopefully enough folks will come through that I can tell Jennifer when I see her on Friday, that she will not be paying for the little baby-sized flower blanket out of her pocket.
you'd think I'd learn...
I had been asking PS about making a plan to go to meet his brother in law and have lunch. He is getting along in years, living alone. Just thought it would be nice to see him, visit a bit, and see how he is doing. After asking him to make the call and set up lunch several times, he finally did - and we went to Ft. Valley today to meet for a meal at the Lane Southern Growers store.
I pass by there when I am headed east, making the drive to Savannah occasionally, and see lots of activity with people stopping to buy all manner of things made from local produce: peach jam, jelly, preserves, local honey, various tourist trapp-y things. Probably a popular stop for tour buses full of people who buy souvenirs, along with high carb., filling buffet meal, and peach-y desserts. Some of the kinds of stuff you'd see in those big pink-painted places on the beach where you have to walk through the open shark jaws to get in the store... junk made in China, like shot glasses, plates that say 'Georgia Peach' on them (though painted in Taiwan), burlap bags of pecans and peanuts from Asia, etc, etc. I've stopped a time or two and bought high-priced jars of peach jam to give for gifts.
So we left home about 10:00, with the plan to meet the BIL at noon. (Always early for everything.) Got there about 11:20, to find the BIL waiting for us - another always early guy. We had lunch, I ate too much - which is what always happens when I find myself eating from the buffet. I don't know if it is good or bad, but instead of something gooey and surgar-fied for dessert, I had another helping of fried okra. Not especially good - sorta soggy, but it was not peach cobbler with ice cream on top.
I should have known, that as soon as he finished eating, he would be ready to get back in the car and start for home. This is the guy that I so thoroughly warned about 'eat and run' back in the spring, he gave me the stink eye for hours while he waited for me to get ready to leave Decatur when we went for lunch on Easter. Also the guy who drove two and a half hours to Tallahassee to meet friends for lunch, and was ready to start driving again as soon as he put his fork down (because I forgot to tell him I was not playing the 'eat and run' game.)
I pass by there when I am headed east, making the drive to Savannah occasionally, and see lots of activity with people stopping to buy all manner of things made from local produce: peach jam, jelly, preserves, local honey, various tourist trapp-y things. Probably a popular stop for tour buses full of people who buy souvenirs, along with high carb., filling buffet meal, and peach-y desserts. Some of the kinds of stuff you'd see in those big pink-painted places on the beach where you have to walk through the open shark jaws to get in the store... junk made in China, like shot glasses, plates that say 'Georgia Peach' on them (though painted in Taiwan), burlap bags of pecans and peanuts from Asia, etc, etc. I've stopped a time or two and bought high-priced jars of peach jam to give for gifts.
So we left home about 10:00, with the plan to meet the BIL at noon. (Always early for everything.) Got there about 11:20, to find the BIL waiting for us - another always early guy. We had lunch, I ate too much - which is what always happens when I find myself eating from the buffet. I don't know if it is good or bad, but instead of something gooey and surgar-fied for dessert, I had another helping of fried okra. Not especially good - sorta soggy, but it was not peach cobbler with ice cream on top.
I should have known, that as soon as he finished eating, he would be ready to get back in the car and start for home. This is the guy that I so thoroughly warned about 'eat and run' back in the spring, he gave me the stink eye for hours while he waited for me to get ready to leave Decatur when we went for lunch on Easter. Also the guy who drove two and a half hours to Tallahassee to meet friends for lunch, and was ready to start driving again as soon as he put his fork down (because I forgot to tell him I was not playing the 'eat and run' game.)
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